More Intimate Truths About Trichotillomania

About ten years ago I added a new dimension to the pubic hair pulling by really picking at the skin in this area.
Because of the years of self harm I have a lot of scars in this area, and during a session I examine and pick at this scar tissue along with any blocked hair follicles I find.
Five years ago this really intensified and I became more and more intrusive in this area, using an angle poise lamp and a mirror to illuminate the area.In reality I know that they are blocked with sweat, talcum powder and soap, but in my head, during a session I believe that they are full of all that is bad about me. All my madness, my crazy insanity. So, I pick at them, sometimes using a fine sewing needle in an attempt to pierce them so that I can squeeze their contents out. Most of the time I am unsuccessful and my attempts cause the area to bleed and become infected. When I am successful and the inside of these spots are squeezed out I am very satisfied, and as I examine the gunk that has been expelled between my fingertips I believe that I am right, that I have successfully removed a little piece of the evil, badness and insanity that is inside of me.