The Assessment

I arrive at the Day Hospital where I am met by a very nice lady who introduces herself as my assessor as she leads me to a private room. She explains the assessment process and that she will be taking notes all the while she is talking with me. She says that it is important that I know this as she does not want me to wonder what she is writing or to think that she is not listening to me whilst she is writing. She asks me lots of questions, a large proportion of which relate to my childhood, my mother, my siblings and the rest of my extended family. Some of her questions are in relation to communication and social skills, in both childhood and adulthood.
She apologises at times for the awkwardness and difficulty of some of her questions. Again she explains, the reason for this is that she has to gather as much information as possible during the assessment to enable her to present my case to the psychiatrist and the rest of the team. The purpose of this, she further explains is to present such a strong case so that I will qualify for not only help but the right sort of help.
I thought that my doctor’s referral would guarantee me help, I did not realise that I would have to meet a criteria for help to be offered.
Considering this I know that I will have to put all my fears about talking to a stranger aside, confide in her, tell her the truth, as I have done with my doctor about all of my problems along with the trichotillomania and self harm.
I feel so vulnerable and scared, but also I feel a determination. I desperately want help and I know that I must get it.